childish.

I haven’t been posting because there’s literally nothing to write about. All I’ve been doing is watching movies and trying to transport my body to New England.

I did go to “a cute little diner” with the Moms yesterday. “Cute” and “little” translates into cheap, low-quality food. To no surprise my mash potatoes were rocks, so my 2 year old niece and I were flinging them at each other.

I know, I need to grow up. I will in a couple of months.

olga.

One of the reasons why college kids look forward to vacations is the food. A few days before I left my friends couldn’t stop talking about the “Welcome Back” dinners their mothers were preparing.

I wasn’t able to contribute to the conversation because a home-cooked meal here means my brother and I standing over a pot of water, waiting for it to boil so we can throw our Ramen in. Sometimes if the Femme Mom is feeling domestic she’ll whip up an amazing meal, which just pisses everyone off because we know it’ll be another two week wait before we get the special food treatment again.

Unfortunately, the Femme Mom isn’t here so the Butch Mom has taken the reigns. That means handing each of us $20 for “whatever we’d like!” My sister has spent it on diapers for her daughter, my brother bought three packs of cigarettes, and my little sister got herself an iTunes card.

I “went crazy” at Wawa and got an unhealthy amount of sweets that proved to be a dire mistake. This morning I was jolted awake by shocking pains in my back molars. I looked in the mirror and saw the beginnings of a cavity or two, so I quickly made a dentist’s appointment.

I threw a big enough fit to have the office pencil me in for 10:00 a.m. Friday morning, and I learned that my dentist’s name is Olga who, the receptionist assured me, was “firm but nice.”A firm but nice dentist sounds like someone who will pull out my teeth with wrench but smile while doing it. In other words, I’m worried and might bail.

what can i say, i’m just tactless.

Is there such a thing as Blogroll etiquette? Am I supposed to inform the blogger that I’m linking him/her? If so, I’m not because that’s way too much trouble and I’m a lazy shit. Sorry if I’ve offended you.

I spent the afternoon trolling for blogs. I stumbled on several promising ones but man, oh, man I think the internet has been taken over by Mommys. You know? The cute, sassy moms who can talk candidly about the texture of their child’s poop in 750 words.

And then I came across the phenomena known as pet blogging and I promptly closed down Firefox.

Where are all the eighteen-year-old college freshmen who don’t litter their sites with sparkly graphics? My kind is going extinct.

humbert humbert.

It doesn’t seem like Ryan’s having fun in Mexico. He’s either working on the Art History paper due Thursday or reading for class. I thought I’d be reveling in his misery and chanting I told you so but I actually feel bad that he went all that way and paid money on a last minute plane ticket to not really enjoy himself.

He invited me to his house for spring break. My gay best friend (yes, I’m a hag), Khaled, thinks it’s an awful idea for reasons that will surface later in this blog. I can’t say I wasn’t enticed. Yes, we have some tension, but mostly I like fucking around with him for hours. He makes doing “nothing” enjoyable.

After a three hour nap (5:00 to 8:00) this evening I was feeling really unaccomplished so I went to the library or The Dungeon Where Undergrads Go to Die Slowly. I quickly typed up a response paper for Political Science and read/editted two stories from my writing workshop. I’d say it was a pretty successful two hours.

When I was packing up to leave Michael stopped by to ruin my good mood. He tried to get himself out of the doghouse by offering me a cookie.

A cookie? Really? Am I a twelve-year-old girl, Michael? Are you a pedophile?

I quickly shrank away from him and hurriedly went back to the dorms. In the future, please don’t try to lure me with baked goods. My response won’t be wet panties.