evil plans.

The college just sent out a campus-wide letter warning the student body - DO NOT GET THE PRE-FROSH DRUNK because drinking “is not the thing to do.” Well, of course it isn’t the only thing but in a town that proudly boasts an 8,000 member population and mountains for miles, drinking and actin’ a fool are usually the first resorts for fun.

That and streaking but I have yet to let my boobs flap in the wind. Maybe next year.

Since I opted out of hosting a pre-frosh because my dorm room floor is for towels and dirty clothes only not a stranger’s body, I won’t feel any obligation to pretend like there isn’t a big drinking culture here. I fully intend to feed alcohol to some little, unassuming 17 year old from Ohio. I will then force her to dance and/or be molested by a sex-starved jock at the toga party this Friday. Yes, I will have my fun playing puppet master and pouring water on their hungover faces the next morning.

And I will do it without having consumed a single drop of alcohol myself. I’m such a law-abiding angel, aren’t I?